A new study by the American Heart Association found that as little as a single glass of wine or beer per week could significantly reduce a man’s risk of a stroke. And 10 or 12 a night keeps you from caring even if you DO have a stroke.
Doctor: “Take the green pill with a glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another glass of water.” Man: “Exactly what’s my problem, doc?” Doctor: “You’re not drinking enough water.”
Patient: “Doctor, you got to help me. I’m under a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people.” Doctor: “Tell me about your problem.” Patient: “I just did, you idiot!”
Helen and Amanda were discussing their busy schedules. Helen said, “I must ask you something. Every day I feel incredibly run down and tired. And yet, I see you looking as fresh as a rose. I have to know: what’s your secret?” “My secret? Every morning, without fail, I wake up at six o’clock sharp.” […]
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?” A young […]
The scale at my doctor’s office has a chart showing the ideal weight per height. Thanks to that, I now know what my problem is. I’m not overweight; I’m too short.