Two keys hang in an undertaker’s office – one for organ in the chapel; the other for one of the cars in the garage. Two small signs above the keys read “Hymn” and “Hearse”.
A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband’s voice was heard answering, “Hello Mary, this is meeee…” “George,” she answered. “I just have […]
Just before the funeral service, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?” “98”, she replied, “Two years older than me.” “So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented, “Hardly worth going home, isn’t it?”
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They […]
This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in. So Satan opens the first door. In the room there are people standing in cow manure up to their necks. The guy says […]
At her father’s wake, a woman told her priest that ever since she was a child she and her father had discussed life after death. They had agreed that whoever went first would contact the other. They had discussed this again just two weeks before his death. A few days after the Wake and Funeral, […]